I loved you at that time.
An annotated review of some of the times we touched base over the years.
The year is 2024. Some weird things are happening in my life. A german youtuber posted a video about the most miserable experiences in Dark Souls, used some of my footage from 2014, and made me sound like one of the coolest guys on the planet. A woman in the bar downstairs buys me a beer. I say thanks. She comes over when she's making ready to leave and offers her hand. I shake her hand and introduce myself. "My name's Kaz, by the way," I say. She leans in a little and says, "I know." I decide to reach out to someone important to me.
I loved you at that time.
The year is 2023. I have been thinking about romance novels and volcano princess. I have been having weird dreams and craving attachment, wanting someone in my life to cherish and take care of. I have been feeling this way for a long time.
I loved you at that time.
The year is 2023. It is my birthday. Later, my brother is coming over to visit. By the time the night is through, I will have had a truly unreasonable amount of a substitute for my favorite scotch (because the store didn't have my favorite). It is the one night a year I allow myself to have hard liquor in the house. My brother and I are going to watch kung fu movies a few hours from now. You reached out to me.
I loved you at that time, too.
I loved you at that time, and I tried to prove it.
The year is 2019, it is just shy of two weeks since I promised I could help. You took me up on it that time, and I sent you something you needed. I was happy to do it. I covered your asked-for amount and threw in $55 on top because I find people tend to ask for the bare minimum and life should not be about the bare minimum. There should be comfort, joy, and decency on top.
I loved you at that time, and you let me prove it.